The best sex may just be the quietest, writes…

I’ve memek long bokep been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter porn where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that bokeh I wondered if I should offer memek to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the bokep ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for porn caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, crot she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, memek or memek sex worker.

Now, crot according to this new study porn from the ever-liberal Swedes, memek it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and crot all men dread — the louder the crot cry of bokep ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, memek you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: crot there’s sex bokeh as performance memek art, bokep and bokep sex as genuine intimacy. And bokep when a woman is genuinely aroused, crot trusts memek her partner and memek is not fearing for memek porn a fragile male ego, memek she’s far more likely to porn gently sigh and bokeh moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, memek female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, memek they’d explain, bokep so they could make their partner feel happy, porn while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of memek memek memek another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared bokeh that erotic decibels were all about bokeh manners and memek ‘manipulation’, memek and bokeh that crot women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokeh so to speak.

A new bokeh study confirms bokeh the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance memek the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: memek ‘I’m enjoying this, memek but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, porn ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, porn where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that memek her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokeh ‘As far as crot I’m concerned, porn that’s porn what you should be doing.’

Well, porn only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, memek Sex At Dawn, bokeh Christopher Ryan and bokeh Cacilda bokeh Jetha concluded the most likely reason bokeh women were noisy during sex — based on observation of our nearest primate cousins — was to alert nearby males that they were fertile memek and porn keen to copulate.

If you’re porn a memek sex worker, porn I can understand crot the need to advertise. But if you’re bokep not, porn then men should take bokeh heed: memek the best crot sex may just be the quietest.